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I was lying in bed last night and couldn’t sleep. One minute I was hot, the next minute I was cold. It was a constant battle to keep myself at a comfortable temperature…I blame most of this on my age….the dreaded “hot flashes” are upon me I am afraid. Oh…I am too young for this..I am not even 51 yet!!
But it made me think about our relationships…primarily our relationship with our spouse. Yeah…somehow hot flashes made me think of relationships..don’t try to figure me out.
In our homes we have two things. We have a thermostat and a thermometer….with the thermometer usually being part of the thermostat, although some of us have them in other parts of the house as well. And the thermometer tells us the temperature at any given time. If we have one outside, it can tell us the temperature out there. If we have them in our medicine cabinets it can tell us the temperature of our bodies and determine if someone has a fever. It is a very useful tool that can tell us when it is too hot or too cold. BUT, it doesn’t do anything to fix it. It just reflects the temperature but cannot change it.
But looking at the thermometer, we can see if we need to adjust. If it is outside and we see the temperature is cold, we can put on a coat. If we take our child’s temperature and it is too hot, we can give them medicine or take them to the doctor. If it is the temperature of our house, we go to the thermostat.
You see while the thermometer simply tells us the temperature, the thermostat can control it. I have central air and heat. I live in the south so one day it could be cold out and the next, it can be hot. So, one day I may have the heat on and the next day, when I see the temperature rise, I can turn on the AC and cool the house off.
We as Proverbs 31 wives and mothers should be the thermostats in our homes. We should be setting the tone and temperature of our homes and want our homes to be a sanctuary for our husbands. We want it to be a warm, loving place he can come home to. We want it to be a warm, loving place our kids can come home to. It could be lighting candles to give the home a nice warm, cozy scent. It could be the way we decorate the home. It could be playing nice, relaxing, uplifting music. Or it could simply be how you react to the people in your home.
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV)
Many times we act as thermometers. We reflect back the moods and frustrations that we sometimes get from our husbands and kids. Our husband may have had a stressful day and comes home and is in a bad mood. Are we reflecting that temperature back at him? Are we offended and responding as such? This was a big problem for me. I was always the type of person that, if you got snippy with me…I would get snippy with you right back. I was a thermometer.Click To Tweet
Or I would go into the kitchen and find my kids had left dishes out or…my pet peeve…threw stuff into the garbage but didn’t push it down into the can so that it basically laid on top of it. I would be a thermometer and next thing you know..I was in a huffy mood and I’d start slamming cabinets (because you all know, when we are mad about something we have to make sure EVERYONE knows it!! Don’t you judge me!!). I was a thermometer.
“Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Proverbs 21:9 (NKJV)
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I am pretty sure there have been times my husband was scoping out a corner on the roof!! He would disagree but I suspect I am right. But when we act as a thermostat we can adjust the emotional temperature in our homes. We can help to change the moods and attitudes of our family. We can take our husband’s stress and melt it away with our loving responses to him. We can do things at home that help alleviate his stress. For one, pray for him! Our best defense is prayer! Another way is not unload on him when he walks in the door. We can take some things off his plate at home. Or we can simply be there for him, listening to him and not being offended and getting upset because we take it personally.Our best defense is prayer! #prayer #faith #trustingod Click To Tweet
We can choose not to get upset with our kids when they leave a mess and realize…in the grand scheme of things it is not worth our peace of mind…or theirs.
Like we do when we see the temperature in our home is too hot or too cold, we can adjust our thermostat and change the temperature to a comfortable one.
So, I challenge you…pay attention over the next few days and whenever someone is in a bad mood or says something that you might normally be offended by…ask yourself…am I being a thermometer or a thermostat? Then adjust and control the temperature.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue, is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26 (NKJV)
Check out my post on producing fruit HERE