Spiritual Growth - Living a Life of Faith

Rebelled Against God? – Do You Feel You’ve Strayed Too Far Even for Him?

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Do you ever feel that you have rebelled against God to the point He wouldn’t restore you? Wouldn’t want you? Have you ever felt as though you are somehow unworthy of His love? What do you do when you feel you’ve strayed too far, even for God?

Rebelled Against God? - An African American woman sitting in a white t-shirt with her hand up to her head looking sad


I Rebelled Against God

There was period of a couple of years where I turned my back on my faith. Well, to an extent. It wasn’t so much turning my back as it was rebellion against God. Even though I never stopped believing, I wasn’t walking in it.

I was angry with God for a time because I felt like everything in life was falling apart. Because of this, I was easily swayed by others and led back to a life of being self-serving and focused on fun rather than faith. I felt like God hadn’t been there for me so I wasn’t going to be there for Him.

I went with friends to psychics and got into astrology and all kinds of things to find direction and answers in my life because hey, God wasn’t giving me the ones I wanted!

And that was the problem in a nutshell. The answers had been there all along. I just didn’t like them! I just wanted to do my thing! It wasn’t that God wasn’t there trying to lead me, I just didn’t like the road He was taking me down. I wanted a super-highway and He had me on an old dirt road!

But through my rebellion, He never stopped calling to me. He never let me go too far from Him. He was like a parent who gave their child just enough of a chance to run out ahead but stayed close enough behind in case things got too out of hand.

And when He saw that about to happen, He led me to a place where I got on my knees and cried out to Him, not out of anger but to show me He was still with me!

Returning Home

I abandoned all that junk immediately and followed Him and committed to following Him no matter what the road was like!

That time I rebelled against God taught me that He IS there with me. It was unmistakable! He never let me get too far from Him! He let me wander just so far but then He drew me back before I could suffer harm.

Have You Rebelled Against God? – He Searches You Out

I love sharing stories of my father. He was truly one of the best people I have ever known and I was blessed to have him, even for a short time. He passed when I was only 21.

One of the things I remember most vividly about my father from childhood was him tucking me into bed each night. He always did this task himself and that was by choice. My dad would read me a bedtime story and then tuck me in nice and tight into my bed. Oh I remember how tightly too! I sometimes wonder if he feared I might roll out of bed! He would kiss me on the forehead and tell me goodnight.

Then, as he turned off the light and began to close the door, I would say “Daddy, I’m thirsty. Can I have a glass of water?” He would then go to the kitchen to get me a glass.

Hiding From My Father

While he was gone, I would get out of my bed, a bed he so carefully tucked me into, and I would go to my closet, step inside and shut the door. My dad would come back into the room with the water and then say “Where is Diane??” and proceed to search EVERYWHERE in my little room!

I would be giggling from inside my hiding place, which I am sure he heard. But he pretended to not know where I was. He would pretend to cry because he couldn’t find me.

Finally, I would jump out of the closet and say “Here I am Daddy!” and he would hug me and say “Oh I was so worried, I couldn’t find you” and then repeat the whole “tucking in” process again.

And he did this every single night! Every night I would hide and every night he would seek me out even though he knew right where I was.

And every night I would hide from him thinking that, somehow, he didn’t know I was in the exact same spot each and every time!

Have You Rebelled Against God? He Knows Where You Are!

Like my father would search for me no matter how many times I would stray from my bed, our loving Shepherd leaves the ninety nine in search of the one who strays.

Matthew 18:12:

What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? ESV

In this verse the sheep went astray! It wandered from its loving, caring shepherd and the safety of his care! This was not a sheep that conformed or went along with the rest. It ran off and did its own thing. But yet He leaves the ninety nine in search of that one.


You can never stray so far that Jesus cannot seek you, find you and restore you! He never skimps on His great love for us and He cares for us, even when He knows we will mess up.

He never stops chasing us no matter how many times we hide from Him. God will always search us out time after time after time. He will always bring us back, if we allow Him, and restore us.

He IS our loving father!

Rebellion Against God – Not Wanting to be Found!

And sometimes we may not want to be found! Sometimes we are in rebellion and feel shame! We feel we have FINALLY gone SO far that even God cannot restore us. We fear our rebellion against God is just too big a weight!

But God is able! He is not only able, He longs for your restoration!!

The Prodigal Son

Luke 15:11-24

And He said, “A man had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me.’ So he divided his wealth between them. And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living.

Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished.  So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him.

But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”’ 

So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’ And they began to celebrate. NASB

You CAN Return!

He is longing for you right now! If you have rebelled against God it doesn’t mean you cannot return!

The devil will try to keep you in rebellion with lies! He will try to convince you that God is done with you! But these are lies!

If you’ve been feeling Him tugging at your heart, ask Him right now to bring you back in. He is standing at the gate just waiting to open it for you! The Lord is like the father whose prodigal son wandered lost for a time and He is waiting to celebrate your homecoming!

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Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved

“Scripture quotations taken from the NASB. Copyright by The Lockman Foundation

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  1. What a beautiful picture you paint of your time with your dad. You are very blessed to have had a dad as wonderful and loving as that. I picture Father God that way; kind, gentle, loving, great sense of humor, and never tired of our antics. 🙂