32 Comments

  1. I left my faith many years ago, more like a cult. But I definitely agree with you about being the authentic YOU with whichever path one takes in life. We need to stop living in fear of what others have to say about who we are. Good for you and great article. Very inspiring.

    1. I am sorry you left your faith because of what sounds like a bad experience you had. Just know that our faith is not religion based. Religion is a bunch of man-made rules and doctrine to follow that is more about pleasing man than God. Our faith is a relationship…it is a one to one relationship with God. I would love to chat with you more if you’d like. I am so sorry that your experience caused you to leave your faith!

    2. This truly blessed me and made me think about who I am and where I am and realize that I myself have been double minded. I can’t live that way and expect to please God. Thank you!

      More Grace, Adrian

      1. Adrian I am so glad it encouraged you and we all fall into double-mindedness from time to time. As long as we don’t take up residence there, right? 🙂
        Thank you so much for your comments!!

    1. Yes that’s one way to describe it. Strong’s Concordance says “divided in interest namely, between God and the world”.

  2. Hello,
    Thanks for sharing your experience with double mindedness. I wanted to share mine just in case someone else is feeling condemned and need encouragement.

    There are many reasons people split into dual personalities and that’s really what double mindedness is. Trust is always at the root of the issue but sometimes it is trust issues born out of severe, sustained trauma where people have learned to split their personality and mind as a survival mechanism.

    Double mindedness means having two minds and two souls. So the person has dual personalities warring against one another. They are not whole and are in conflict with who they really are.

    The Bible says that a person who is double minded when it comes to the promises and provision of God should not expect to receive anything from God. This passage cuts like a knife for people like me who find it very difficult to trust anyone because of severe past trauma. There are a lot of people who don’t understand how hard it is for some people to trust anyone, including God. I stumbled across this blog after reading several very condemning blog posts on double minded people. It seems as though the grace, love, mercy, and blood of Jesus can cover anything except doubt or fear, in most people’s mind. If you are struggling with double minded for any reason, pray. Pray to God, confess where you are and ask him to help you have more faith.

    I grew up in a very dysfunctional, violent, abusive home. I learned before kindergarten (no joke) that I had to take care of myself and that I was the only person I could truly count on. I couldn’t trust my family to love, help, protect, or care for me. When I went to them with a need I was either rebuffed harshly or a promise was made yet never fulfilled. In addition in my family I was demanded to take on adult roles and responsibility very young. So, I was groomed to believe that no one would help me. I was the help. By the time I reached 16 I was super independent and self sufficient. My teachers and friend’s parents loved me because I was so “mature” and “wise.” I just wanted to be a kid but no one would let me be that. I had been well-trained either overtly or by circumstance to do it myself, no matter what ‘it’ was. And I did. I handled ‘it’ far better than most adults most of the time.

    Once I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior to forgive me of all my sins and seal me to him in eternal life, I experienced relief for the first time in my life. For the first time it wasn’t all up to me. There was someone else more powerful than I who could help. The problem was is Jesus doesn’t need a co-pilot. He was asking me to surrender and let him take the helm. I didn’t know how to do that. No one had ever done that for me before. Not ever. I was always responsible for carrying at least half of the load if not all. I didn’t understand and really couldn’t receive the love of Christ unconditionally.

    As is often the case childhood trauma that is pushed down doesn’t go away. It starts to ooze, bubble, and seep up into your life in ways and places you don’t expect or want like smack dab in the middle of my walk with Christ. When I brought a problem to Christ that I couldn’t handle and he didn’t take care of it in his time, I’d find a way to handle it on my own figuring that’s what he wanted me to do. The truth is I don’t feel comfortable trusting anyone. I’m ashamed to say that my emotions are still that damaged even now which is sad. God is working in me to heal me. It takes time.

    I never received any counseling and no one knew how I grew up. I was groomed to keep the family secrets and I did. So, I pushed down all of the past pain, hurt, fear, and anxiety and went on with life. My childhood baggage eventually pushed back and began to ooze, bubble, and flow into my life. All of my friends, coworkers, and boyfriends thought I was one person–smart, together, capable, brave, fun, honest, fair, good. They didn’t know about the other me that showed up when I dealt with my family–angry, sad, fearful, doubting, low self esteem, low self value, unlovable, unable to love, unable to feel, scared, scared, and more scared, depressed, and riddled with anxiety. Did I say scared?

    Praise him, God is healing all of me: body, mind, and soul. But it is a process. He is reconciling the two parts of me into the one child that he created out of love who was shattered and left wounded and unable to trust. He does not condemn me for failing to trust. He knows my story and how I became the way that I am. It doesn’t mean he excuses it but he is a God of mercy and grace. He gives us beauty for ashes and meets us right where we are–even if where we are is afraid, anxious, and double minded. So if you’re living a double life because you are afraid, ashamed, anxious, or just have trust issues for whatever reason: Pray. Ask God to help you. He will. He can heal your wounded parts and mend them back into one. God Bless you.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story with all of us. I agree with you; fear tends to be at the heart of double mindedness. In fact, fear had been a big part of my life for a long time for various reasons but mainly because of some people in my life. In fact, I shared that story in a blog post I just published today called I Quit – How to Overcome Fear in Life!

      I greatly appreciate you sharing and love your faith! You need to start a blog!! You have so much encouragement to share! Bless you!!

    2. Wow Bea you told my story how amazing really amazing Word thank God for you and now I have better understanding with this battle my Faith is strengthen. I know can overcome this thanks Diana I feel encouraged

      1. I am so glad you felt encouraged! That is such a blessing to me! Thank you so much and God bless you!!

    3. Thank you so much. I cannot begin to express how similar our stories are. There really is not one word in your comment that I don’t identify with. I am determined to model single mindedness and obedience to scripture. I am so grateful to have come across this blog and especially this comment.

      1. I am so glad that it resonated with you Rinn and I pray that the Lord will give you wisdom and direction as you seek that single-mindedness! It is definitely not easy but with Him, it is possible!!

  3. Hey so im a boy if it doesn’t matter but im having alot of doubtsss like even about God and him exsist and i know God does exsist and I struggle with alot of things even my own sexuality and i know God says hes going to heal me is that something God can help me with also and how can i stop the double mindedness and just be straight up with myself cause this is actually a big problem how do i fully surrender to God

    1. Hi Quintez! God can definitely help you with some of the conflicting emotions you are experiencing. But sometimes we all need some help and direction, especially when we are experiencing confusion…which is what a lot of double mindedness stems from. I would recommend speaking with someone like a Christian counselor who can help you sort through what you’re feeling in a way that keeps God at the center. Sometimes our healing comes through people that God has equipped in certain areas (such as sometimes our healing has to come with a surgeon and oncologist for certain things like cancer). I think sitting down and talking about your feelings with someone who understands and who knows God is so vitally important. I am praying for you as well!

  4. Thank you. Fear of man gets to me a lot when sharing the Gospel. I struggle a lot with double mindedness but Jesus can get me through it

    1. Yes He can and He will! Keep doing what you are doing and don’t worry about anyone’s opinion but God’s! Bless you!

  5. Wow, this really helps. I struggle with double minded behavior as well. I am tired of going back and forth. I am trying to be perfect when the one who died on the cross for my sins is perfect. Jesus Christ wants me to take his yoke and burden, yet I keep leaning to my own understanding. I guess sometimes we just have to surrender, and leave it with Christ instead of picking it back up. I hope Jesus will help me and I know he will help me along the way, even if it is hard. Doing what his will is pleases my soul.

    1. I totally understand how you feel. We sometimes just get into that mindset where we are so torn that we become double minded about things. But yes, He is perfect and He will help you when you give it to Him and let Him handle it. And that is tough to do when we all live in a world that teaches us to handle it ourselves. Bless you and thank you for sharing with me!

  6. Thanks, this has helped me decently. I wasn’t really sure of what double-mindedness was until today when I decided to look it up after reading Psalms 119. I’m a college student so I’ve got a lot of different friends, some Christian some not. I wear a small cross necklace and I’ve got the little cross emoji in my bios, but I’ve always felt hesitant to share any faith-related posts in fear of being judged by my non-Christian friends. Thanks for helping me see that it’s a little silly to feel so pressured by man like that. And in my heart I know my real friends will understand, even the ones who aren’t Christian. Also, your part with the makeup and stuff also really lifted a weight on my chest about still enjoying hobbies without thinking that it’s wrong to like anything in this world. It’s made me feel better about the books and movies/tv I enjoy. Thank you so much for the great article! I can tell it’s Jesus’ way of telling me to breathe and drop that anxiety. Pray you have a good holiday season!

    1. Declan I am so glad it helped you feel more confident in your faith. My husband is a college Dean so I have a real heart for college students and your story really resonated with me. I am sure you living out your faith in a genuine way that is uniquely you will be a better witness to your friends than you know! Have a wonderful holiday season and please, come back and let me know how you’re doing!

  7. IYOOO. this is so helping me atleast after so many years i found a defenation of what i am going through, i am easly getting angry, offended and all this is because i dnt stand my grounds i please even where i know the truth. i will rather keep quite, and say mmmm. not saying what i know. this caused a pain in my heart that never went, was prayed for. tryed hospitals. low self esteem, discouraged in everything. my faith is in danger an i am going out. i now started experiencing eating disorder

    until last night when I tried to pray i was given Matthews 5:8

    may God bless for encouraging us.

    1. I am so glad this helped you and I am so sorry for the pain you have gone through. Bless you!!

  8. Thanks so much, I was really blessed by this post. God bless you and more of God’s grace upon your life.

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