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When you walk into your bedroom, what does it speak to you? Does it welcome you with fresh, clean, open arms, or does it scream at you to run in the other direction? Does it serve as a respite for your Christian marriage or is it another room you pay bills in, argue in, discuss heavy topics in?
I want to encourage you today and hopefully help you to look at your bedroom in a whole new light. We will talk about 5 ways that our bedroom should serve us in Christian marriage.
Your bedroom is just that; it is yours. Treat it as though it is yours. It is the one room in the house that no one else needs an invitation to. You don’t have to show it to the guests, there is nothing your children need from it, the pets don’t have a reason to be in it (unless that is what makes YOUR hearts happy)…it is yours!
Join me as I welcome Tina Crawford from Sweet Honey & Sacrifice as she shares with us how your bedroom can enhance your Christian marriage!
Enhance Your Christian Marriage – Use Your Bedroom for Relaxing
Goodness, as parents, most of you know what it feels like to not even be able to use the restroom alone!
If you are a mom and a wife, then you know that there is nowhere that you can go to escape the chaos that surrounds us all from time to time.
We need a place to be able to step inside, close the door, take a deep breath and breathe for even just a moment. Create a space for yourself or yourself and your husband to unwind (however that looks for you). When you walk into a room that is fresh, clean, and inviting, it is mood-altering.
I would encourage you to make a habit of shutting your door when you walk into your room. Do this when you are alone and when you are with your spouse.
Teach the children that when the door is shut, they have to knock and only need to knock once (in other words, they don’t get to stand out there pounding on the door until they get the response THEY want).
Setting these boundaries when they are young will help them in their own Christian marriage when they are grown.
Let them know that you will address their concerns in a moment and if it is an emergency, they should let you know that!
They can learn this, even if they are a little older. If they need a reminder, then place a note on your door for them to see.
Relaxing and having a space to catch your breath is not only good for you but for the whole family.
(Side note from Diane: I asked a hotel I stayed at if I could keep the Do Not Disturb sign from my room and they looked at me funny. I said “I have teenagers” and they laughed and said yes, absolutely. My kids knew if that sign was up on my door, Mom was either having prayer time or relaxing time or we were just relaxing and spending time together.
You can make one and hang it up and teach your kids what it means when that is up on the door AND teach them what to do in case there is an emergency and they DO need you right away.)
Mood Setting – Creating the Right Atmosphere in Your Marriage
When you are creating your relaxing space, think ahead to what type of moods you would like to set.
Would you like to be able to turn on a reading lamp and prepare for your time in the Word or your time in prayer? Would you like to have candles strategically placed so that it is accessible and already available when you want to set the mood for romance?
What type of moods do you want to prepare in your bedroom, your space?
I know for my husband and me, we like to have mood lighting and music.
Create a relaxing space, but one that is also adaptable depending on what the room will be used for.
Allow yourself to set the mood, to engage your emotions and your brain for the activities.
Intimate Conversations – Keeping Conversations in the Bedroom Limited to Those That Build Up the Atmosphere for a Christian Marriage
Having a relaxing space for your intimate conversations is vitally important.
These can be conversations on the phone with friends and family, conversations with your spouse, or prayer time with the Lord.
Intimate conversations are conversations that should be calm, relaxing, uninterrupted moments of connection and beauty. You don’t have to have a “sitting area,” sitting on the bed cuddled up and cozy work just as well.
I was gently reminded the other day in my own marriage of the importance of having an intimate conversation space.
My husband and I were having a disagreement, so we walked to the bedroom to be in private. When we walked in, my stress level instantly went up, and my mood became worse because I was upset by the mess of “our space.”
Connection is key to intimate conversations, and private discussions are vital to healthy relationships.
Your bedroom should be where you and your spouse can talk about dreams, plans, worries, loves, hopes, fears, and sexual desires. Climb into bed together, snuggle up and invigorate your emotions by connecting to your spouse in a way that only you can!
(Another side note from Diane: To add to what Tina said, I feel it is really important that your bedroom remain your personal “haven” away from the world and strife and heavy, weighted discussions should take place in another room so as to not add a “heaviness” to the room. Sometimes when we have kids and we have an argument, the bedroom may be the ONLY room we can go and speak in private but maybe pray before and after so that conflict does not becomes a spirit that takes root there.)
Ok, I see you shaking your head, haha!
Yes, I know this one is obvious, but we can’t leave out its importance.
Your marriage bed is in your bedroom, and that makes the importance of your bedroom increase immensely.
Think about all of the topics that have been discussed so far; relaxing, mood-setting, and intimate conversations. Each one of these things also helps to increase the mood for sexual intimacy in a marriage.
Still, it doesn’t have to be the only choice. At the beginning of this post, I talked about making a habit of shutting and locking the door behind you. One reason for this is that it doesn’t automatically signal to your kids that you are having sex when the door is closed.
As women, we struggle with the kids “knowing” what’s going on. This alleviates a lot of that nervousness and allows your bedroom to become available for relaxation, mood-setting, intimate conversations, and sexual intimacy whenever you want or need that time!
Being able to sexually express ourselves with our spouse is so beautiful and fully God’s design for his married children.
Often, other things take precedent because it’s “just too hard” to find the time.
Yes! It is hard to find the time. We have to make time, and having a bedroom that allows for that is extremely helpful.
Being able to walk into a space created with the purpose of connection, fun, excitement, relaxing, talking, laughing, love-making, and sexual intimacy creates moments in marriage that can never be taken away or replaced.
Make your marriage a priority by making your bedroom your space.Being able to sexually express ourselves with our spouse is so beautiful and fully God’s design for his married children. Click To Tweet
One of the most powerful things that husbands and wives can do is to lean into the Father and pray together.
I chose to put this section last because there is great value in stepping into your space of relaxation, finding the right mood-setting, engaging in intimate conversation, making love with your spouse, and then praying in unison, thanking the Lord for not only the blessing of your life but for your marriage and the space to nurture that relationship.
Taking the time to thank him together, to call out to him in the rough times together, to go to him in anxiousness and uncertainty, and to dwell with him as a couple is the strongest glue that any marriage could ever seek. Use your space to be alone, to be together, and to be with God.
Women here is your call to action- create a bedroom that can fulfill all 5 of these purposes.
It doesn’t have to cost a lot or even take a lot of time. Take some time to think about what could be added to or taken away from your bedroom in order to allow you to relax, set the mood, have intimate conversations, cultivate sexual intimacy and allow for prayer time together.
Take small steps and make it happen! I can’t wait to see pictures of your transformations, please send me some. Good luck and HAVE FUN!
Be sure to get your FREE Just for Fun Marriage Printable Pack below as Worth Beyond Rubies’ gift to you and use it while enhancing your time in the bedroom!