Ever feel like you went to sleep one person and woke up as someone you didn’t even recognize? Someone offended and annoyed by everyone and everything but not sure why? You may wonder if there is something “wrong” with you because, after all, you’re a Christian (or Messianic Jew) and SURELY you shouldn’t be an angry person…right??? Do you find yourself asking “God, why am I an angry Christian? Why am I so irritated by everything?”
If this sounds at all like you (and I expect many of us have felt this way from time to time) then read on!
For the sake of simplicity, I will use the term “Christian” to signify ALL believers in Yeshua so whether you are a gentile or Messianic Jew, so please know I am including you all and not implying just one group of believers.
Why Am I an Angry Christian??
Me? An angry Christian?? Well, allow me to set the scene for you.
First, I want to say that what I am speaking of here is not consistent and ongoing anger issues. If you have anger issues that are persistent, you should see someone for help. This speaks more about a short period of anger and irritability that cannot really be tied to anything and seems more oppressive than an ongoing anger management issue. I will call these “hissy fits” that seem to just set us off when normally we are fine!
If you have an ongoing issue, you should definitely speak to someone who can help. This is more of a spiritual attack of anger that this post deals with.
So moving on to the story!
My daughter has a birthday two days after Christmas. She was turning fourteen at the time and, since we just recently moved to South Carolina, she had finally made some friends at school, so I wanted to make it special for her. We planned a sleep over during the week since it was Christmas break and there was no school and no work for my husband.
Let me also add that, in addition to that, her best friend from back home was staying with us for a week from Florida! She would be here the day after Christmas and leave New Year’s Day.
The day of the sleep over arrived and I had six screaming (literally) 14 and 15 year old girls in my home. They had a blast, using my equipment to film makeup videos (using my poor husband as the model…I will link that video below for your amusement)
They were well behaved but LOUD! VERY loud! Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep that night.
The kids all left at different times throughout the day on Thursday, but we still had her friend who was staying for the week. I collapsed into bed that night, exhausted!
Tired, Unmotivated and Irritated by Everything
Fast forward to Friday morning. I was tired. I was trying hard to recover the sleep I had lost a few days before, but I hadn’t. Then I got out of bed, not feeling very motivated, and I kid you not; my feet hit the floor and I was a stressed out mess. I was irritated by EVERYTHING. I was irritated by EVERYONE!
The dog had thrown up on the carpet during the night.
There was a mess in the kitchen (which was my fault because I had been too tired the night before to clean it up so I own that one).
My husband left clothes on the bedroom floor.
I had tons of laundry to get done.
I had a full on flesh fit where I felt like I was the only one in this house who was doing anything!!
It wasn’t true of course. It was my fickle feelings that made me feel irritated because I was the only one who seemed to think it was necessary to do it the second I woke up.Ever feel like you went to sleep one person and woke up as someone you didn’t even recognize? Someone offended by everyone and everything? Click To Tweet
The Angry Christian – Why Am I So Angry All the Time?
Well, you know how you get when you start cleaning up and you want EVERYONE in the house to know you’re doing it??
Yeah I was banging pots and letting doors slam shut. I had to make sure they KNEW!!
I WAS UPSET!!
And I wanted them to feel bad that I was out there all by myself putting dishes away! Poor me!! How dare they!!You know how you get when you start cleaning up and you want EVERYONE in the house to know you’re doing it?? Click To Tweet
I was irritated by every little thing. Why am I so angry for no reason?? I just kept wondering that to myself even as I had my fits! Every word my husband said seemed to set me off.
My husband is the sweetest, most helpful, loving man in the world but that day…oh that day I wanted to toss him and everyone else out on the front porch and not let them back in until I calmed down!
I was offended and nothing was going to change that! Sometimes we just seem to settle into our irritability and KNOW we should come out of it and yet, we rest there for a while.
Everything they said or did offended me. I was literally irritated by everything. He could have said good morning and I would have gotten offended by it. I was biting his head off just for speaking! The more he tried to insert himself into my pity party the more offended I got.
He was trying to be helpful and I was trying to stay in my fit.
But God…He Spoke to This Angry Christian!
Then in the midst of my little hissy fit, I could hear God speak into my situation, “If you’re upset because of all the work, then why are you getting offended when people are trying to help you? Maybe that’s not the issue at all! Maybe it is not THEM, it is YOU”
Ouch! Ok God, way to keep it real!
I told my husband I needed to go into our room for a little bit and be by myself.
And I sat and I prayed.
During this time alone, God really impressed this upon me; I was simply weary. He showed me I was worn out. I had Christmas to deal with, then my daughter’s friend here for a week, then the sleepover and of course, day to day life.
He reminded me of the scripture in Matthew 11:28:
I hadn’t spent time with Him.
Oh I spent time on my blogging ministry and I spent time reading the Bible but I hadn’t spent time in prayer. I hadn’t come to Him. I hadn’t given Him my burdens. Here I was trying to carry them on my own and becoming a really angry Christian in the process.
An Angry Christian That Looked More Like an Irritable Child
I was like a little child who is sitting down with a toy or puzzle and can’t figure it out and God was there like the parent saying “Do you want me to help you?”
“No!! I can do it!”
Those of you with small children know what I mean!
And He let me. He let me keep struggling because He knew the only way I could get past this was to see it was beyond me.
Until finally, exhausted and defeated, I went into my room to Him and asked for help.
The reason I was stressed and having a temper tantrum was because I hadn’t spent time in prayer for nearly a week!
Oh I had the usual quick prayers, praying for someone who is sick, asking forgiveness for getting mad at rude holiday shoppers, etc. But I hadn’t spent time in real fellowship prayer.
I was trying to get through all of this in my own power and wasn’t allowing God, my husband or anyone else to help me! I was beaten down by the enemy because I refused to go to the Lord in fellowship where He ALWAYS speaks with me through His Word and in prayer!
I left the room feeling as though the weight of the world was lifted off me.
Now, I won’t tell you I had no more stress. I had teens in the house!! Of course I had stress! 🙂
But I was no longer offended. I was no longer angry, and I was no longer jumping down people’s throats.
Why Am I So Irritable? – Prayer Matters!
Prayer is not only just a conversation and it is not always just a time of offering praise.
In Jewish prayer…the Amidah, the Standing Prayer, the height of Jewish prayer along with the Shema (Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One), not only consists of praise offered to the Lord but general petitions are made during the prayer as well, with personalized petitions being added by the individual. So even in prayer going back through the centuries,
It is laying down our burdens! It is a time the Lord wants to hear our concerns and our petitions! It is, at times, like running into our loving Father’s arms to be cradled and rocked and told everything is going to be OK.Prayer is like running into our loving Father’s arms to be cradled and rocked and told everything is going to be OK Click To Tweet
It is showing Him what puzzle we are having trouble putting together and Him helping us to figure it all out.
It can be a deep rest of the spirit where He breaks down our walls and melts away our stress, anger, anxiety, fear.
I have learned now not to let the busyness of life get in the way of my time of fellowship with Him. I’ve seen what life is like without Him leading and with me trying to do it alone. I didn’t like it. I am sure my family didn’t like it.
So if you are feeling that way, spend some time in your prayer closet and get in regular fellowship with Him and you will find He is ready and willing and, most certainly able, to be your “ever present help in times of trouble”. (Psalm 46:1)
Then hopefully you never need to ask, like me, ‘why am I so angry for no reason?’! You will know and also know what to do about it!
Have you found times in your life where out of nowhere you were that angry Christian? How did you deal with it and what helped you? Share in the comments!
If you are new to prayer or just feel lost in your prayer time, get your FREE ACTS Prayer Method Workbook below as my gift to you!
Tree of Life (TLV) – Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society. Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society.