The 5 Qualities of the Four Friends of the Paralytic Man
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The story of the paralytic man and his four friends, as told in Mark 2:1-12, is a powerful picture of faith, determination, and compassion. These friends went to extraordinary lengths to bring their paralyzed friend to Yeshua (Jesus) for healing, showing qualities that are both inspiring and instructive. In this post, we’ll explore the 5 qualities of the four friends of the paralytic, particularly the key ones, dive into both the Jewish and Christian historical context, connect these characteristics to teachings on spiritual discipine (Mussar), and discuss how we can foster these qualities in our friendships today.
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Spiritual Disciplines – What is Mussar?
Before diving into the qualities of these friends, it’s important to understand Mussar. Mussar means “discipline” in Hebrew and is a Jewish spiritual discipline that focuses on character development and ethical living. Originating in the 19th century, Mussar is based on scripture, ancient Jewish teachings and texts. It provides practical guidance for personal growth, helping people refine their character traits and align their lives more closely with God’s will.
The goal of Mussar is to cultivate virtues such as humility, patience, generosity, and honesty. Through study, reflection, and practice (often in a group), individuals learn to identify and overcome negative traits and habits, ultimately leading to a more balanced and righteous life. Mussar emphasizes that personal transformation is a lifelong journey, requiring ongoing effort and commitment.
If you want to learn more, we do offer a free Mussar program. You can learn more below.
Now, let’s connect the story of the four friends to specific Mussar teachings, exploring how their actions reflect key virtues and how we can apply these lessons in our lives today.
The 5 Qualities of the Four Friends of the Paralytic
1. Active Faith
Faith is at the heart of the story. The friends’ belief in Yeshua’s ability to heal their paralyzed friend drove them to action. Despite the obstacles, their faith stayed strong. Hebrews 11:1 tells us:
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of realities not seen.”
TLV
These friends exemplified this by their unwavering belief in Yeshua’s healing power.
In the Messianic Jewish context, faith (emunah) is more than an idea we subscribe to; it’s an active trust in God that compels us to act. The friends’ faith led them to carry their friend on a mat, climb up onto a roof, and lower him down to Jesus. Their faith was not passive but demonstrated through their persistent actions.
Faith in action has deep roots in Jewish and Christian history.
From Abraham’s journey to the Promised Land to Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt, faith has always required action. The friends’ faith in the healing power of Yeshua echoes the faith of the patriarchs and prophets who acted on God’s promises even when the path ahead was uncertain.
In the New Testament, Peter walking on water to meet Yeshua (Matthew 14:29) and the faith of the centurion who believed Yeshua could heal his servant from a distance (Matthew 8:5-13) are profound examples of active faith. These stories demonstrate how faith compels believers to step out in trust, even in seemingly impossible situations.
Mussar Teaching on Faith (Emunah): In Mussar, faith is not just about belief but about trust and reliance on God. The practice of Mussar teaches us to cultivate emunah by recognizing God’s presence in every aspect of our lives and trusting Him through both good times and challenges. It encourages us to act in ways that reflect our trust in God, just as the friends’ actions demonstrated their faith.
Fostering Faith Today:
- Reflection Question: In what areas of your life do you need to trust God more fully?
- Action Step: Engage in regular prayer and study of Scripture, and encourage your friends to do the same. Share your faith journey with each other, support one another in times of doubt, and remind each other of God’s faithfulness. Keep a journal and record times when you could have exercised deeper faith and when your faith was strong. We do have a Mussar Journal available.
2. Determination
The determination of the four friends is evident in their refusal to be deterred by the large crowd blocking their way to Yeshua. Mark 2:4 describes this resolve:
“When they could not get near Yeshua because of the crowd, they removed the roof where He was. After digging through, they lowered the mat on which the paralytic was lying.”
TLV
This determination highlights the Jewish principle of mesirut nefesh, a willingness to endure hardship for a just cause. The friends’ determination can inspire us to persist even when faced with significant obstacles. Their actions remind us that true determination often requires very creative solutions and a willingness to step out of our comfort zones.
Jewish and Christian history is full of examples of determination.
The Maccabees’ resistance against the Seleucid Empire and the perseverance of the Jewish people throughout various exiles and persecutions are testament to the enduring spirit of determination within the Jewish community.
The early Christians displayed remarkable determination in spreading the Gospel despite intense persecution. Paul’s missionary journeys, detailed in the Book of Acts, are filled with instances of determination, including being imprisoned, shipwrecked, and beaten, yet he continued to preach the message of Yeshua.
Mussar Teaching on Determination (Netzach): Mussar emphasizes the quality of netzach, which includes perseverance, endurance, and determination. Netzach encourages us to remain committed in our pursuits, to overcome challenges, and to achieve our goals through persistence and resilience. This aligns with the friends’ unwavering commitment to bringing their paralyzed friend to Jesus.
Fostering Determination Today:
- Reflection Question: What obstacles are currently hindering your progress, and how can you creatively overcome them? Write them out and try to come up with solutions that will help you stay determined overcoming them
- Action Step: Encourage each other to pursue your goals relentlessly. Set up accountability partnerships where you check in on each other’s progress regularly. Celebrate small victories along the way and remind each other that setbacks are just stepping stones to success.
3. Compassion
Compassion (rachamim) is another defining quality of the friends. Their actions were motivated by a deep sense of compassion for their paralyzed friend. They recognized his suffering and were moved to help him. This reflects the heart of God who is compassionate and merciful.
The friends’ willingness to go to great lengths to help their companion illustrates the Mussar trait of chesed (loving-kindness). Their compassion led them to take action, embodying the commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves (Leviticus 19:18).
Jewish and Christian history is full of examples of compassion.
The concept of chesed is foundational in Jewish tradition. Acts of loving-kindness are central to Jewish life, from the hospitality of Abraham and Sarah to the care for the widow, the orphan, and the stranger as commanded in the Torah. Compassion is not merely a feeling but a call to action in Jewish thought.
Yeshua’s parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) beautifully illustrates compassion. The Samaritan showed great mercy and care for the injured man, going out of his way to ensure his recovery. This story emphasizes the importance of acting with compassion towards others, regardless of their background.
Mussar Teaching on Compassion (Chesed): In Mussar, chesed is a key attribute that involves acts of kindness and benevolence. It teaches us to develop a generous heart and to act in ways that bring comfort and help to others. Practicing chesed involves looking for opportunities to do good deeds and to respond to the needs of others with empathy and generosity. If you are out of balance in compassion, it can affect your other spiritual disciplines.
Fostering Compassion Today:
- Reflection Question: How can you show greater empathy and kindness to those around you?
- Action Step: Practice empathy by actively listening to your friends’ needs and concerns. Volunteer together for community service projects or support each other in personal acts of kindness. Create a culture of openness where feelings and struggles can be shared without judgment, and always be ready to offer help when needed.
4. Teamwork
The story also underscores the importance of teamwork. The friends worked together seamlessly to achieve their goal. Their cooperation and coordination were crucial in overcoming the physical and logistical challenges they faced.
The friends’ collective effort mirrors the community aspect of Jewish and Christian life, where working together for a common purpose strengthens the entire group. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (TLV) says:
“Two are better than one, because they get a good return for their effort. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But oy to the one who falls and has no one to lift him up!”
TLV
The friends’ teamwork ensured that their efforts were successful and serves as a reminder of the strength found in unity.
Jewish history emphasizes the strength of community and collective action. From the building of the Tabernacle in the wilderness, where every Israelite contributed, to the communal aspects of Jewish festivals and prayers, teamwork has always been integral to Jewish life.
The early Christian church exemplified teamwork in their communal living and support for one another. Acts 2:44-47 describes the believers sharing everything they had and working together to meet each other’s needs. This collective effort strengthened the community and helped spread the message of Yeshua.
Mussar Teaching on Teamwork (Achdut): Mussar teaches the importance of achdut (unity) and kehillah (community). These concepts stress the value of working together, supporting one another, and fostering a sense of belonging. Achdut encourages us to see ourselves as part of a larger whole and to contribute to the well-being of the community.
Fostering Teamwork Today:
- Reflection Question: In what ways can you contribute to your community or group to foster a stronger sense of unity? Define actionable ways you can do this.
- Action Step: Engage in activities that require collaboration, such as planning events, participating in group studies, or working on community projects. Emphasize the value of each person’s contribution and foster a sense of shared purpose. Regularly discuss goals and strategies as a group, ensuring that everyone is on the same page and feels valued.
5. Sacrifice
Lastly, the friends demonstrated a willingness to sacrifice their time, energy, and perhaps even their reputation to help their paralytic friend. Climbing onto a roof, digging through it, and lowering their friend down was no small feat and likely drew significant attention (especially from the owner of the home!) and perhaps criticism.
Sacrifice is deeply ingrained in Jewish tradition, where personal comfort is often set aside for the benefit of others and the fulfillment of mitzvot (commandments). The friends’ actions remind us of the importance of selflessness and the call to serve others even when it requires significant personal cost.
The self-sacrifice of Esther in risking her life to save her people, the dedication of Ruth in supporting her mother-in-law Naomi, and the countless Jewish heroes who stood up for their faith and community at great personal risk all illustrate this enduring value.
Yeshua’s ultimate sacrifice on the cross is the cornerstone of Christian faith. His willingness to lay down His life for humanity is the greatest example of selflessness and love. Additionally, the apostles and early Christians often faced persecution and martyrdom, sacrificing their lives for the sake of the Gospel.
Mussar Teaching on Sacrifice (Mesirut Nefesh): In Mussar, mesirut nefesh refers to the willingness to give of oneself for a higher cause. It teaches us the importance of selflessness and the readiness to endure hardship for the sake of others. This quality is about prioritizing the needs of others above our own and acting with a sense of duty and dedication.
Fostering Sacrifice Today:
- Reflection Question: What personal sacrifices can you make to better serve those around you?
- Action Step: Look for opportunities to put others’ needs before your own. This can be as simple as offering your time to help a friend move or as significant as supporting someone through a difficult season in their life. Encourage a culture of selflessness by sharing stories of sacrifice and discussing the positive impacts these actions have on others and on oneself.
Lessons for Today
The story of the four friends and the paralytic man is rich with lessons that are applicable today. Here are a few takeaways:
- Faith in Action: Our faith should drive us to take bold actions, trusting in God’s power and goodness.
- Perseverance: When faced with obstacles, determination and creativity can help us find a way to achieve our goals.
- Compassion: Genuine compassion for others should compel us to act, seeking to alleviate suffering wherever we find it.
- Community Effort: Working together with others can amplify our efforts and lead to greater outcomes than we could achieve alone.
- Willingness to Sacrifice: True love and friendship often require personal sacrifice, but the rewards are profound.
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These qualities are not just aspirational but are integral to our walk with Yeshua. They reflect the heart of God and the teachings of the Word, providing a blueprint for how we can live out our faith in practical and impactful ways. The four friends of the paralytic man serve as an enduring example of what it means to love others as God loves us, with faith, determination, compassion, teamwork, and sacrifice.
By integrating Mussar teachings into our daily lives, we can cultivate these important qualities and create stronger, more supportive friendships that reflect the love and compassion of Yeshua. Join our Mussar program today to start your journey of personal growth and spiritual development.
Tree of Life (TLV) – Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society. Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society.