Why do I feel invisible and lonely in this age of social media which is supposed to be, well…social? Do you feel like people just seem to look right through you, whether in person or online?
Sometimes the words just want to escape my mouth or get pounded out on my keyboard…”do you even see me??” It could be in a room full of people, at work, it could be on social media, in groups on Facebook.
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Do you see me???
There are so many times I feel totally invisible as if I just blend in with the crowd. It makes me feel lacking, uninteresting, dull, ordinary. It makes me feel as though there is nothing outstanding about me. I just blend. It makes me feel unwanted, unloved, unaccepted.
Why do I feel invisible?
I am a new blogger and I fall into the comparison trap where I am not looking necessarily at more established bloggers, because I expect them to be way ahead of where I am, but I tend to look at bloggers who are also new and think “What am I missing? What is it they are doing that I am not? What is it about them that I am lacking? Why are they getting attention and promotion? Am I really just THAT unlikable?”
I mean, I think I am a nice person???
The Enemy Enjoys Me Feeling Inadequate
He wants me to compare. He wants me to doubt my calling. He wants me to pack it in.
He will make me feel invisible. He will make me base my worth and value on mere popularity.
It’s like being in high school again, wondering why all the cool kids don’t like you as much as others! It’s a tactic to make you just slowly back down and not try because over time you feel like no one is listening anyway.
It’s just that! It’s a tactic!! It’s a lie!! He will make me believe numbers determine my worth; that likes and comments on posts are indicative of my value! That if people don’t respond to me the way they do to someone else it means I am not liked and not worthy!
He will make me believe numbers determine my worth! That likes and comments on posts are indicative of my value!
But it doesn’t make the feeling any less real and it doesn’t make it hurt less when we feel overlooked.
I think we all sometimes feel as if we are wallflowers. And it could very well be that at times, we are. But those times could be our own doing. When I start to feel like I’m invisible I can sometimes retreat more and that just adds to that feeling.
And that is what he wants. He wants us to focus on our FEELINGS.
He wants us to FEEL offended, FEEL hurt, FEEL left out. Feelings are not reality! They are just feelings! And our feelings can and DO lie!
Those feelings can then lead to despondency. They can lead to us believing no one cares. They could lead to depression.
Feelings may lie but they are very real!
Social Media Loneliness
Much of this feeling is due to the nature of social media. We can feel alone surrounded by people on our social media platforms.
We have entered into so many “acquaintance-type” relationships on social media (being “friends” with people we don’t even really know) that we can often feel lost in the shuffle.
We may have 100 friends and family on Facebook and interact with everyone, but someone else may have 2,000 friends on Facebook and we fall victim to the algorithms. They only see about 7% of what people post and we may not fall into that 7%.
But because WE see everyone on our timeline we think they must also and are just ignoring us, when the reality is they are just not even being shown our posts!
It can cause someone who already feels overlooked in life to feel even more so!
I have a general rule I TRY to follow. I don’t always succeed at it but I try.
Always assume the other person has the best of intentions!
As I said, sometimes it is easier said than done. Sometimes I DO fall prey to the enemy and feel invisible. But I make an effort to try to believe people I have some sort of relationship with, be it work, blogging, friends, etc., generally have good intentions toward us.
God Sees You
I am not invisible, not to the One who matters. Oh, there are times I feel as if I am. I am sure we have all felt at times like God is not listening or doesn’t want to answer us. I am sure we have all wondered if we somehow missed God and now He is silent. But we are never invisible to Him.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
“… And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
These are just a few of the verses that show that God is always there. It may seem that He is silent at times but that does not mean He does not see us, love us, desire to spend every moment possible with us. It could be because He is telling us to wait, or it could even be us.
It could be He is silent because we failed to go to Him about it. Maybe He is waiting on us. It could be we keep seeking His hand (what He can do for us) and not His face (just spending time with Him).
It could be the same with people. Maybe we aren’t reaching out to THEM. Maybe we are responding to our perception and they feel we don’t like THEM. Or maybe they are waiting for us too!
So, when you go through times when you feel invisible, remember that you are always number one to your Father in Heaven. Seek His face, then we will see He is there just waiting to speak to you! People are flawed. We are all sinners. We all sometimes behave in a way that is unseemly. But God is always faithful. You are never invisible to Him.
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