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Ever feel like you went to sleep one person and woke up as someone you didn’t even recognize? Someone offended and annoyed by everyone and everything but not sure why? Do you find yourself asking “God, why am I so angry for no reason??”
Why Am I So Angry For No Reason?
Allow me to set the scene for you.
My daughter has a birthday two days after Christmas. She was turning fourteen and, since we just recently moved to the area and she had made some friends at school, I wanted to make it special for her. So, we planned a sleep over during the week since it was Christmas break and there was no school and no work for my husband.
Oh but wait, in addition to that, her best friend from back home was coming up to stay with us for a week! She would be here the day after Christmas and leave New Year’s Day.
The day of the sleep over arrived and I had six screaming (literally) 14 and 15 year old girls in my home. They were well behaved but LOUD! VERY loud! Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep that night.
The kids all left at different times throughout the day on Thursday, but we still had her friend who was staying for the week. I collapsed into bed that night, exhausted!
Feeling Tired and Unmotivated
Fast forward to Friday morning. I was tired. I was trying hard to recover the sleep I had lost a few days before, but I hadn’t. Then I got out of bed, not feeling very motivated, and I kid you not; my feet hit the floor and I was a stressed out mess. EVERYTHING bothered me!
The dog had thrown up on the carpet during the night.
There was a mess in the kitchen (which was my fault because I had been too tired the night before to clean it up).
My husband left clothes on the bedroom floor.
I had tons of laundry to get done.
I had a flesh fit where I felt like I was the only one in this house who was doing anything!!
It wasn’t true, it was just that I was the only one who seemed to think it was necessary to do it the second I woke up.
Ever feel like you went to sleep one person and woke up as someone you didn’t even recognize? Someone offended by everyone and everything?
Why Am I So Irritated By Everything?
Well, you know how you get when you start cleaning up and you want EVERYONE in the house to know you’re doing it??
Yeah I was banging pots and letting doors slam shut. I had to make sure they KNEW!!
I WAS UPSET!!
And I wanted them to feel bad that I was out there all by myself putting dishes away! Poor me!! How dare they!!
You know how you get when you start cleaning up and you want EVERYONE in the house to know you’re doing it??
I was irritated by every little thing. Why am I so angry for no reason?? I just kept wondering that to myself even as I had my fits! Every word my husband said seemed to set me off.
My husband is the sweetest, most helpful, loving man in the world but that day…oh that day I wanted to toss him and everyone else out on the front porch and not let them back in until I calmed down!
I was offended and nothing was going to change that!
Everything they said or did offended me. He could have said good morning and I would have gotten offended by it. I was biting his head off just for speaking! The more he tried to insert himself into my pity party the more offended I got.
He was trying to be helpful and I was trying to stay in my fit.
Oh But God…
Then in the midst of my little hissy fit, I could hear God speak into my situation, “If you’re upset because of all the work, why are you getting offended when people are trying to help you? Maybe that’s not the issue at all! Maybe it is not THEM, it is YOU”
Ouch! Ok God, way to keep it real!
I told my husband I needed to go into our room for a little bit and be by myself.
And I sat and I prayed.
During this time alone, God really impressed this upon me; I was simply weary. He showed me I was worn out. I had Christmas to deal with, then my daughter’s friend here for a week, then the sleepover and of course, day to day life.
He reminded me of the scripture,
“Come to Me all you who are WEARY and BURDENED and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
I hadn’t spent time with Him.
Oh I spent time on my blogging ministry and I spent time reading the Bible but I hadn’t spent time in prayer. I hadn’t come to Him. I hadn’t given Him my burdens. Here I was trying to carry them on my own.
Come to Me All Who Are Weary
I was like a little child who is sitting down with a toy or puzzle and can’t figure it out and God was there like the parent saying “Do you need me to help you?”
“No!! I can do it!”
Those of you with small children know what I mean!
And He let me.
Until finally, exhausted and defeated, I went into my room to Him and asked for help.
The reason I was stressed and having a temper tantrum because I hadn’t spent time in prayer for nearly a week!
Oh I had the usual quick prayers, praying for someone who is sick, asking forgiveness for getting mad at rude Christmas shoppers, etc. But I hadn’t spent time in real fellowship prayer.
I left the room feeling as though the weight of the world was lifted off me.
Now, I won’t tell you I had no more stress. I had teens in the house!! But I was no longer offended. I was no longer angry, and I was no longer jumping down people’s throats.
Prayer is not just a conversation.
It is laying down our burdens, it is like running into our loving Father’s arms to be cradled and rocked and told everything is going to be OK.
Prayer is like running into our loving Father’s arms to be cradled and rocked and told everything is going to be OK.
It is showing Him what puzzle we are having trouble putting together and Him helping us to figure it all out.
It is just a deep rest of the spirit where He breaks down our walls and melts away our stress, anger, anxiety, fear.
I have learned now not to let the busyness of life get in the way of my time of fellowship with Him. I’ve seen what life is like without Him leading and with me trying to do it alone. I didn’t like it. I am sure my family didn’t like it.
So if you are feeling that way, spend some time in your prayer closet and get in regular fellowship with Him and you will find He is ready and willing and, most certainly able, to be your “ever present help in times of trouble”. (Psalm 46:1)
Then hopefully you never need to ask, like me, ‘why am I so angry for no reason?’! You will know and also know what to do about it!
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