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Meek and mild?

Me?

Oh but I try!! In fact I would try so hard it would leave me in tears.

My experience being the ideal Christian woman always lasts about 2 minutes!

 

Meek and Mild? Trying to Fit the MoldThis page/post may contain affiliate links.  As an Amazon Associate, as well as an affiliate of other programs, this means if you purchase something using these links, I will receive a commission on qualifying purchases.  I am not paid to endorse any specific product on this site.  For more detailed information, please visit our Disclosure page

 

 

 

Meek and Mild Defined

I know the word “meek” tends to make people think of someone who is weak and timid, but that is not the meaning here at all. Let me define meek as I use it here and as it is used in scripture.

The definition of meek is “quiet, gentle, humble.  Miriam Webster says:
“enduring injury with patience and without resentment”

Seems to define someone forgiving and long-suffering.

Some examples of meekness in the Bible:

Matthew 5:5 says:

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” ESV

1 Peter 3:4 says:

“…but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” ESV

Galatians 5:22 says:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,” ESV

These all speak of meekness!

 

Meek and Mild – I So Desired This!

Every day is a struggle for me. It is a tug of war with who I am and who I want to be. Every day I get up and I decide that I will be different today. I WANT to be different today.

It’s not my actions that I struggle with, it is my mouth. It is my attitude. And it is my demeanor.

You see, I am a genuinely nice, caring person. I am a funny person! I love making people laugh! My husband is hilarious! He should have been a comedian. He is loved by everyone who meets him!

Together, we laugh…A LOT! I love real belly laughs and I love making people laugh that way!

But on the flip side, I am a New Yorker who was raised around very loud, opinionated women. I come from a strong, Jewish grandmother, and there’s a saying, “Ask 10 Jews, get 13 opinions”!

I lived my life speaking my mind and never backing down from an argument. Ever!  Like, ever!

 

But My Desire…Yeah, Meek and Mild!

My desire, at the very core of my being, is to be that soft-spoken, meek and prayerful woman. I long to be that woman who can see a divisive post on Facebook and, rather than get upset about it or desire to comment on it and SET THEM STRAIGHT, she just prays for them and scrolls past.

I desire to be that person that can watch the news and not get all worked up by what I see. Or to be that woman who does not watch at all. I just simply desire to be SWEET!

Why can’t I just be sweet??

It’s not that I feel I HAVE to be that way, I WANT to be that way!

I pray for this daily! I PLEAD for this daily.

Grace Goals by Arabah Joy

Meek and Mild – Today Will Be The Day! Right??

Every morning I step out of bed and say today I WILL be quiet, and peaceful and only speak that which is uplifting and positive. Today I will be the person who, when I see someone on Facebook spreading fake news or spewing hateful things, just prays for them rather than get worked up.

And then it goes out the window about as fast as my feet hit the floor.

You see, when I got saved, my old woman was put to death, but it appears that every day, several times a day in fact, she has a resurrection and comes forth like Lazarus! And just like Lazarus must have stunk after 4 days in the tomb, my attitude stinks too!

It’s almost as if the more I desire to change, the more the old woman comes out!! It seems as though I can’t control it.

 

 

The Struggle To Be Meek and Mild 

I know what Paul means when he said in Romans 7:14-15

For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin.  For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” ESV

Oh Paul, I feel such camaraderie with you when I read these verses. The struggle has been there for the church all along.

And yet, I still wonder why!

Why is it that no matter how much I pray to be the way I envision other Christian women are, I just fail almost as soon as I stop praying?

I want to not be affected by the opinions of those around me, I want to be the wife and mother who is loving and soft spoken and yes, submissive! Not the born debater I seem to be!

I desire to be that soft space for my husband to land at the end of the day when he has had to deal with stress all day. I want to be the wife that exudes Christ in me!!

 

Bible Study Methods - 7 Ways in 7 Days

 

Still, I Fail

And yet even as I am failing, even as I am doing it, it is in my head! That voice (my own!) telling me to be soft spoken, don’t talk politics because politics is a hot topic and will get you going! My husband is a former politician so it is a hot topic in our house. And he will come home and I will tell him about something I saw on the news and next thing you know we are discussing politics for an hour.

Not.What.I.Want!

I want our time spent together to be on higher things and not on worldly things. But I am a loud, brash New Yorker. It is at the very core of my being. How do you change something that is just WHO YOU ARE!!??

 

Oh…but God…..

I again went to Him in prayer and told Him how I struggle. I told Him AGAIN what I want my personality to be like…I was specific after all!! I had a list!!

And yet He showed me something.

He showed me I was praying for Him to change me but I wasn’t leaving it up to Him HOW to change me.

 

I was presenting Him with this shopping list of personal qualities I thought I wanted and was asking Him to make me like other people rather than make me what HE wanted me to be; more like Jesus!

He showed me that He knew what He was getting when He got me. I was no surprise to Him. It’s not like someone presented me to Him and He looked and was like…”Oh…Ooookay…what am I supposed to do with this??”

He knew my personality when He called me to my ministry. He also knew that my struggles and my fight would help others feel like they are not lost causes!!

 

Meek and Mild – Yeah, We Are All Not Perfect

Shocker right?

He showed me that I am just a loud mouth like Peter!! My story shows people that Christians are REAL people with REAL struggles and REAL issues!!

Yeah, I HAVE ISSUES!! I have more issues than Better Homes and Gardens!!

So did Paul. So did David!

And God showed me that He is pleased with me because, like Paul and David, I have the WILL to do good. My heart is set on Him.

I DESIRE to do what is right, even if I don’t always DO the things I think I should!

My spirit chooses what is right but my flesh? It battles me day and night.

Like Paul….

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.” Romans 7:25  ESV

 

I have been relying on my own flesh to change. I have been trying and striving! And I was deciding HOW to change!

I am somehow believing that if I TRY hard enough I can BE different.

No!! I am who I am! I am not a Cookie Cutter Christian, made to fit some mold!! I am an individual and God uses each and every one of us, not only because of our strengths but also because of our weaknesses!

I shouldn’t be TRYING to fit some image in my mind of what I think a Christian woman should look like or trying to be like some of my Christian friends.

I should simply ask God to make me into the woman HE wants me to be, not the woman I think I should be based on this picture in my head of, as Joyce Meyer says, “Sister Super Christian!”

 

 

Meek and Mild – Praying All Wrong

I’ve been praying for Him to make me like other people rather than asking Him to make me more Christ-like.

Wow…reality check!!

Christ is my goal, not the women in church, not the other bloggers I am friends with! Christ alone!

I had the right motive but the wrong goal and, therefore, the wrong prayer.

My desire should always be to be more like Christ, not more like other women.

So, my prayer has changed.

Instead of presenting God with a list of qualities I think I want, that perfectly meek and mild Christian that, in reality just doesn’t exist, I will simply ask Him to mold me into the woman HE wants me to be and the wife HE wants me to be…and to show people..in my home and out of it…

Jesus IN me.

In what ways have you struggled with comparison and feeling like you just couldn’t live up to the picture of the perfect Christian woman?  Comment below!

 


 
 

Some other posts like ‘Meek and Mild’ you might enjoy:

DRIVING ME CRAZY – EXTENDING GRACE

WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DON’T MEASURE UP -YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH

GOD WHY AM I SO OFFENDED?

I QUIT – HOW FEAR OF FAILURE KEPT ME FROM FINISHING

 

Meek and Mild? Trying to Fit the Mold 2

Diane is a wife and mom, a Jewish believer in Yeshua (Jesus) and yes, a blogger. In addition to owning Worth Beyond Rubies, she also co-owns other sites such as Faithful CEOs which helps Christian bloggers and businesses, Hot Flashy Faith which is a site for women over 40 and everything important to them, and Women of Worth Café another site for Christian women with Bible studies, devotions and the Jewish roots of the faith. Diane lives in BEAUTIFUL Northwestern Connecticut and when she is not blogging, you will find her spending time with her husband and kiddos out on their little mini-farm.

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    Michele Morin
    Guest

    Smiling and cringing at the same time over this post, because I’ve had the same wonderings myself. Somewhere I read about a woman who wants to have on her tombstone the words, “Demure at Last.” Yes!

    Yvonne Chase
    Guest

    Why can’t I be meek and mild like other women? Because God didn’t knit me together that way. I realized a long time ago that God created me uniquely, therefore, I don’t try to fit in or be like others. I’m perfectly fine being who God made me. I wish other meek and mild women would stop pushing the narrative that says “good” Christian women are meek and mild. It’s pushed throughout the church/Christian community and it’s not true. God created us all uniquely for his purpose. The world would be a hot mess if every woman were meek and… Read more »

    Candy
    Guest
    Candy

    Women were meek and mild to a point. They were strong fierce and steadfast in their belief. Meek and mild is humble and giving of service. Different meanings back than

    Brittany
    Guest

    I loved reading this as I inserted my own vices that I fuss with every morning. How wonderful that God works with us from where we are, and molds us slowly without ever taking away from our individuality.

    Robert
    Guest

    Thanks for this excellent post. I can completely identify with this. Not necessarily the desire to be meek and mild, but to conform to the behaviour of other Christians and seem more like them in order to fit in and be accepted. This happens not only in the behaviour expected of us but also the way we do certain ministries. When you get into that whole mindset and everyone around you is telling you to do it one way and saying that if you don’t, there’s something wrong with you or that you can’t be in leadership/ serving/ whatever it… Read more »

    Erin @ Momma's Living Room
    Guest

    This!!! “I was asking Him to make me like other people rather than make me what HE wanted me to be.” This particular line got me. Thanks for writing this!

    Madilyne King
    Guest

    Very good! It’s definitely a balance between “dying to self” and “being who God created you to be”. I’m glad to know I’m not the only Christian out there who struggles with being more than a little outside the box. God is good, and He created us uniquely, and for that, I am greatful!!

    Marya
    Guest

    This has been my struggle too. I never seem to really fit in, but I know God uses that “differentness” to attract other people in the margins.

    Leigha | OfferingGrace
    Guest

    Diane, I really enjoyed reading this. Although, I am on the opposite end of the spectrum from you. I wish that I could be more outgoing, be more brave, just be more. God is in control and He knows what He is doing. I will trust Him to guide me where He wants me to go.

    Emily A. Sullivan
    Guest

    YES! Trying to be more like CHRIST, not like other women!! That is my constant struggle too! Particularly because my mother in law, and sister in law set the bar very VERY high when it comes to begin a woman “with a gentle and quiet spirit.” And they are both the epitome of a “good Christian housewife.” I am always worrying that I’m not being enough for my husband, based on knowing what kind of mom and sister he grew up with. But I’m learning that my focus should be on who God wants ME to be as ME, not… Read more »

    Kristin Cook
    Guest

    I think it’s really cool that we can have individual personalities and yet still strive to be molded more like Christ. God does want us to be meek, but that will look a little different depending on personality type, and the point is the posture of our heart and actions, regardless of personality type. God has us as individuals for a reason, and He uses us (quirks and all) for His kingdom when we belong to Him. I totally agree that our prayer should be “make me more like Christ”. Thanks for the reminder 🙂

    Lauren Sparks
    Guest

    After calling my pastor’s wife “precious”, a friend said to me, “no one would EVER call me precious”. I know what she means. And that’s ok! laurensparks.net

    Amy @ Orison Orchards
    Guest

    I never really think of Christ as being meek or submissive, although he was meek in that he was slow to anger, and submissive in that he always submitted himself to his Father’s will. It’s interesting that I always think of him more as loving and powerful and charitable. That’s what I strive for. I gave up on meek a long time ago!

    Ashley Harris
    Guest

    Yes! The goal is always Christ.

    shan walker
    Guest

    My desire – I hear ya. I think it’s important to slow down and listen to the Holy Spirit before we speak as well. Since it’s a desire of my heart to be more meek and mild, I’ve seen the Lord literally stop me in my thoughts and (almost) words. When my mind is on this, and only when I’m tuned in, I remember to pause and think of what I’m about to say. We’re all a work in progress! 😉

    Lisa notes
    Guest

    “I was asking Him to make me like other people rather than make me what HE wanted me to be.” I’m so grateful that none of us have to be perfect. Not even a perfect version of ourselves. Thanks for the encouragement to be ourselves, and let God have his way with us.

    Crystal // Dreams, etc.
    Guest

    I think sometimes we think of meek differently than it’s meant to be used. I definitely try not to get angry or riled up about things, but I’m definitely not meek in the way that society views “meek” right now. 🙂 And I think that’s okay. God made me the strong, passionate person that I am.

    Theresa Boedeker
    Guest

    Nodding my head and agreeing. God didn’t make only one type of Christian women. He loves diversity and we each have different strengths. You nailed it. We need to be praying to become more like Christ and to be the woman God wants us to be.

    liz
    Guest

    So good! Be the masterpiece He created YOU to be! Excellent!

    Joanne Viola (@JViola79)
    Guest

    Wonderful post. We have been called to be like Christ, not other women. I am so grateful He takes us from glory to glory, it’s a daily process of transformation. So my goal today is simply, to be a little more like Him than I was yesterday. Blessings!